Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
So, after wrestling with the cabbie on the phone just trying to get him into the gate ("No, no, no," she's saying, "stop talking and listen to me!"), she waits by the trunk of the cab, impatiently tapping her foot as the decrepit old man insists on heaving her luggage in himself.
Finally on her way, I get the following text from her:
Now, he has to stop for f'ing gas!! Seriously!And then 5 minutes later:
Oh, and now he's bitchin' at me about paying with a credit card because it'll take longer. UGH!And then 30 seconds later:
Oh, and he smells!!!And now I'm laughing like a loon under the covers. Then I get:
And now he's calling me 'honey'...OH, HELL NO!!!!And there's really no point in trying to go back to sleep because two minutes later she says:
Oh, and don't forget, he's using a magnifiing glass to read the credit card slip and his Thomas guide. And we're still at the gas station. And I'm gonna strangle him!!!Several messages later about how slow he's driving, and how she's gonna push him out and drive her damn self, she says:
I actually had to tell him to go through the damn carpool lane at the toll booth. I really think I'm being punked or else I'm on that show where they time it to see how long it takes for you to start cussing like a sailor!!But she gets there with just minutes to spare, in her seat, and on her way. A few hours later and she texts that's she's landed. How was your flight, I ask?
Fell asleep briefly and spilled my water all over my pants.They were white.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Amy and I agreed if Saia was actually able to find it out in the yard, she would totally earn herself a 20-spot.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
[WHAT?!?! I could NOT have just heard what I thought I did!]
"You be the tapir, ok?" he asks.
"Um...Chago, honey?" I call, inching my way a little closer. "Who are you again?"
Annoyed with the interruption if his game, he snaps, "The King of Jews, Mom! The King of Jews!!"
And with that, I swooped into the living room, snatching him promptly off his throne, and sat him down on the floor with me sitting directly in front of him, nose to nose.
"Son, where did you hear those words? Do you even know what that means?"
"What's wrong, Mama? Why are you upset?"
"Baby, where did you learn that? Can you tell me?"
"From a book," he says, utterly confused.
"Can you show me, please?"
And as I wait there for him to retrieve it, my mind is darting in a million directions.
"Here, Mama," he says, crawling into my lap. "It's right here, see?"
"Kink-a-jou. It's kind of like a Lemur. It lives in the rainforest."
[Oh, for pete's sake!!]
Friday, May 22, 2009
"Okay, Mama, go put on your fancy jewelry and come and sit down," he said.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
For whatever reason (read: taking advantage of the fact that Mommy is traveling), they decided it would be a good idea to fight in the truck all the way home, NOT do their chores, smear toothpaste all over the bathroom counter, and turn their rooms into landfills. And while, no, none of this is really new, it was all at one time, and all on top of a couple of weeks now of Amy & I continually badgering them to get their shit together, as it seems, since about Spring Break that they have just turned themselves off.
So, after spending a better part of the afternoon picking up after them again, re-doing their chores again, piling things from around the house in front of their bedroom doors again because there was no way...literally NO WAY...to even enter without stabbing your foot on a teeny tiny sword, or a barrette, or a plastic orangutan arm, or something or other, I just couldn't ask them one. more. time. to straighten things up or else.
They had already had their timeouts. They had already had their favorite babies taken away. And they were even grounded for the rest of the afternoon, relegated to their separate rooms, which they were to have spotless by bedtime, or at least, no longer a hazard to walk into.
Did they have cupcakes at school today, I ask them. No. Did they have any sugar from anywhere else? No. Was something going on at school, with other kids, with their teachers that I didn't know about? No. Did they think this behavior was acceptable? No. Did they think they were doing a good job of being respectful, and contributing to the family, and being responsible for their own things? No.
So, then why the hell, as we're walking down the stairs holding hands to go brush our teeth after dinner, which, once again I had to stand watch over and prod them to eat like 3, 4, 5 times. Why then, when we turned the corner into their rooms did it look a gajillion (yes, gajillion! do you have any idea how much that is?!?) times worse than before?
And then I felt like I must've looked like a Tom & Jerry cartoon. Tom standing there, Jerry outwitting him again, his whole face turning bright red, the steam streaming out of his ears, his neck stretching upwards as his head prepares to literally explode, and then the top of his scalp shoots off into the air and flames burst from inside his skull to the sound of a train whistle. TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, just like that.
And then I started screaming. Bloody murder screaming. Grabbing my hair, kneeling on the floor, banging my
And that's all you're going to hear about that.
We hugged and kissed and said our I'm sorries and I forgive yous and I'll try not tos before they went to sleep. And then I logged on to blog about it...and couldn't.
Couldn't fess up to you the magnitude of awfulness I felt. The humiliation and shame for breaking down like that. The sheer embarrassment of such an event that was so beyond just another bad mama moment that I just. couldn't. say. it.
So, I slunk away to other mommyblogger sites. And I vented there. Like a neighborhood bar they were, the blogtender welcoming, pouring me another drink of been-there-done-that, and encouraging me to drown my sorrows in self-deprecating prose and self-indulgent I'm-such-a-failures.
And I bloghopped for hours, desperately seeking the cyberarms of compassion and commiseration from other moms. A mom site from Hawaii. One in Australia. Another from the misty woods of Tennessee. And I cried as I wrote. And I cursed my lack of self-control. And they patted me on the back and nodded their heads and poured me another round.
And it was good.
Except that this morning I woke up feeling guilty. Like I'd cheated on you. With them. Couldn't find the solace I needed here. Afraid to let you in, to let you too close, thinking if you saw how ugly it was, how ugly I was, that you wouldn't be here tomorrow. That you wouldn't let me come back...and admit my failures...and try again.
So, there it is. And here I am.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Well, there is that.
And when three pm finally came around, I asked Amy how much longer she'd like to give it. Magnesium thermal deathrays shot straight out of head. We went ahead and packed it up and headed for our favorite brewpub for pizza and reds.
If you're feeling particularly masochistic, feel free to enjoy the entire fishing slideshow here: FISHING SLIDESHOW
Friday, May 15, 2009
"Mom, Saia's not feeling well."
"Feel better, babe?"
Rush to school to drop off guacamole for 20. Tag-team Amy so she can head off to work. Snuggle on the sofa and watch cartoons all morning.
"Okay, let's get your hair into a rubber band."
"Here, sweetheart, let's have some water."
"How about a little apple juice?"
"Okay, let's get some bread in there, maybe some granola."
"Okay, now let's get you a Pedialyte popsicle."
"Mom, I'm hungry."
"Mom, I'm still hungry."
[slurps Ramen noodles]
"Mom, I'm ready for Starbucks."
[Strawberry & Cream Frappucino, it is.]
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The latest topic on the Momversation site is about whether or not, as a society, we're overmedicating our kids.
As it's not like me to remain quiet, particularly about controversial topics, here's my (very newsy ;P ) response.
Like most hugely controversial topics, it's easiest to battle from the opposite ends of the spectrum. Either you're pro meds or you're pro natural living, and you likely have a long list of very real and rational reasons for your advocacy, but I'm one of those people (and I'd venture to guess there are probably a lot of us out there), who don't have protest-worthy feelings about this topic, who live their lives somewhere in the middle, and who are confused most of the time about what is best in what situation for what child in what instance.
In general, I guess I would have to say that we do not medicate our children.
We have a first aid kit in our home that has a still-sealed-for-6-years bottle of that poison control medicine you MUST have when you first realize you're about to bring a baby into what used to be a carefree and completely uncontrolled environment. We have hydrocortizone cream, bacitricine, all the anti-bacterial ointments, peroxide, calamine lotion, a bottle of children's tylenol, vicks, arnica gel (for growing pains), a humidifier, and naturally flavored cough drops. But that's about the extent of it.
I typically use a crushed tylenol paste on insect bites before I "resort" to hydrocortizone or bacitricine. I use 3 cold glasses of water, cold washcloths, and massages for headaches and have never given my children medicine for that (being a teen with tylenol-controlled migraines that I eventually learned to control with diet in my 30s was a long lesson I don't want my children to have to relearn).
I only "resort" to the children's tylenol when their fever reaches about 103 and it's the middle of the night and I won't be able to monitor it every second. Fevers are a body's sign that it's fighting off something else, and I do try to let their bodies learn to fight off as much as possible -- without endangering them, of course. And the same goes for coughs. We do not give our children cough suppressants, as I feel their coughing is their bodies' natural response and don't want to interfere with their ability to purge themselves of the creepy cruddies. I will mix up honey and lemon or give them an all-natural cough drop to help soothe them if their throat is becoming irritated, but we don't have benadryl or dimetapp or any of those things in our house - for any of us.
A year ago, though, Saia had to be put on an inhaler for about a month. We followed the doctor's instructions to the letter, but stopped the medication when she appeared to be getting better, and have not returned to it. So, it's not like we're anti-meds entirely, you know?
However, we don't get flu shots. We don't go to the emergency room. I've cleaned, disinfected, and patched up all of their wounds at home, and am a big fan of liquid adhesives. We do have our regular doctor's visits, though. And my kids are (a little reluctantly on my part, I will add) completely vaccinated.
We have incorporated more soy, grains, fruits and veggies into our diet since having children. Our kids don't eat any candy or completely empty sugars (like frosting or kool-aids). We've moved to low sugar jellies and apple juices (because "no sugar" actually means they've substituted it with something far worse). Our kids always have two glasses of milk for breakfast, a cup of orange juice, apple juice for lunch, and water for the rest of the day, including dinner. Which means there are no sweets at all after 4pm. Well, except for when they earn their dessert, and even then, it's a fruit pop or a cup of frozen yorgurt.
But we're definitely not health nuts by any stretch of the imagination (hell, we don't even shop at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, for crissakes) and are surely doing a million things wrong still by those standards. But even these subtle changes in our diet have helped tremendously with their ability to concentrate and their ability to control their own behavior (they're 6, though, so that's all relative).
Our kids are asleep by 7:30 every night and up by 6am, but they're twins, so we've had them on a pretty strict sleeping schedule since they were about 4 months old. Our kids have never even had an ear infection, and besides breastfeeding them til they were 2, and I don't think I can emphasize this point enough -- I would attribute their excellent health more to the fact that they're still getting a full 12-14 hours a night's sleep than to almost anything else. I mean, sleep is when you're body goes into self-help mode. It's reparative and restorative, and cannot be discounted when you're talking about making changes that affect behavior and concentration. Not that they're angels, mind you, but God, can you imagine the terrors they'd be on 8 hours or less?????
BACK TO THE POINT
So, I guess in response to the question posed, my answer is yes, I do feel that as a society we too hastily make the decision to incorporate medicine into our daily routines solely for convenience. At the same time, I am a huge advocate of science and discovery and, hell yes, especially convenience and having some sort of quality of life, and believe that we do have the brilliant minds in this world and the subsequent technology in this day and age to aid the efforts of caring for our loved ones precisely so that we don't have to resort to things like bloodletting anymore.
So there must be a way, a middle road by which we can balance allowing the amazing machines that are our bodies do the jobs they were created to do while at the same time incorporating those advancements that encourage, but don't obliterate our self-healing efforts. And I think, personally, that you spend the rest of your life negotiating that line every single hour of every single day. And, you know what, that's okay. Because as long as you're not allowing yourself to just be spoon-fed by one side or the other. As long as you're researching (even a little), and asking questions, and trying new things, and allowing yourself to be flexible enough to experience the benefits of both worlds when they make sense for you and your family, then I think you're probably right where you belong.