HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LITTLE LOVES

OH. MY. GOD. What a day! So, I'd managed to escape for 3 glorious years the headaches and stress that typically accompany children's party planning.

• Year 1: we flew to Texas and very thankfully let Tia Ruby and Tio Donny do most of the work.
• Year 2: we had a small intimate gathering at home -- and they were still too young to protest.
• Year 3: we actually did the Disneyland thang, but have not as yet fully recovered a year later.

But this year...this year Mama evidently lost her marbles completely and decided to throw a real-live party for 20 of their closest friends. [Cue the sympathy.]

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
So, just finding a place to have the party was a Herculean task in and of itself. With Mommy swearing she'd divorce me if we had it at home, I spent 4 weeks calling, visiting, and googling places that "just might work," assuming they could accommodate us, of course, because it was severely "frowned upon" by more than one party planner that we had not made our reservations 6-12 months prior. Can you believe that???!!! What is this, private school? The Ritz-Carlton? Tavern-on-the-Green?


But I finally found it. And it was perfect. It's a calmer, quieter, healthier, and less germ-infested environment than, oh let's say something that rhymes with Smuck B. Knees. Anyway, someone had backed out at the last minute, and as luck would have it, my little St. Patty's Day babies were even going to be able to have the party on the 17th!!! So, we booked it, bought all the appropriate packages and accoutrements, and headed off to Michael's to buy our invitations.

MARTHA STEWART, WE'RE NOT
But we were pretty damn close! With Amy and Chago scowling the whole time, Saia and I trotted around the store picking out confetti, ribbon, glitter pens, and mini-gift boxes. I printed their invitations, we stuffed them into the boxes, and hand delivered them to school the next day.

ENTER THE STEPFORD WIVES
Amy would have to fill you in completely on this one 'cause truly I was oblivious to most of it. Well, except for the "Do you always dress so glamorously for 4-year-old parties?" and "So, did you invite the whole school?" and "Well, lunch is included AND we get goodie bags?"

Not sure exactly what I did wrong here, but Amy says it has more to do with the mom's overterritorial, hypersensitivity, way-too-self-conscious of their post-baby bodies attitudes than with anything I may have actually said, done, or apparently, worn.

Whatever. That party was off the shizzle, baby!!! [I know, I know, I'm just never gonna be able to pull that off.]

ANYHOO, HERE'S THE PROOF IN THE PUDDING: