WWID??? (What Would Imelda Do?)

Imelda Marcos, that is.

"Mama," she says on the way into work one day last week, "What other shoes do you have besides high heels and flip-flops?"

[Well, seriously, what else does a girl need???]

"Well, honey," I begin with a puffed out chest a glow of pride, "I do have a couple of pairs of workout shoes, a few pairs of bejeweled sandals from the Cancun vacation, some mules, some slingbacks, at least one pair of mary-janes..."

"Mama..."

"A good number of tall-girl boots, some ankle boots, and some equestrian boots..."

"Mama..."

"I've got those gorgeous Pragues that Mommy got me for Christmas, and those goddy gold things I got on sale..."

"MAMA!!!"

"Huh?...Yes, baby, what is it?"

"Mama," she continues in a slightly more frustrated tone, "the reason I was asking was because I needed to know what shoes you want to be wearing when an elephant sits on you."

[??????]