MEAN GIRLS KARMA?

So, I think I'm going to have to kick some little kindergartener's ass!!

Apparently, someone has been telling Saia that she has fat cheeks and that her legs are too big.

Can you believe that? A freaking 5-year-old!!! And I picture her looking just like Lindsay Lohan, too. All Mean-Girled out with perfectly coiffed hair, and a sparkly t-shirt that says "Yes, I'm a Diva!" and I'm just fuming!!

"Mama," she asks me over dinner one evening.

"When are my cheeks going to be skinny like yours?" as she brushes the back of her little hand lightly across my cheek.

And my heart just sank. I simply could not believe what I was hearing. I wasn't prepared. Didn't think I'd have to be prepared for at least another 8 years or so. WTF?!?!

And, of course, I told her that her little body was perfect just the way it was, that everyone is made differently, and that while you may think that there's something about someone else that you wish you had, there are always others looking at you thinking the same thing. That people make comments like that to be mean and spiteful, and that someone probably said something to them at some point that hurt their feelings so now they're taking it out on someone else. And that she needed to bigger and stronger than they were and just ignore it.

And yes, I was suddenly flooded with memories of my own ridiculous comments to girls in my school. Of just running with the popular crowd and how that alone made others feel. Of not standing up for others every single time I should have. Of being a mean girl myself. And wondering how much of this is coming back to me on her.

And, really, I just wanted to tell her to sit on the little toothpick of a girl and cut off all her little red curls and crush her chest -- just a little -- so that she would have to apologize through teary eyes and labored breaths and swear to help every other little girl in their class tie their shoes for the rest of the week!!!

But instead, I spoke with her teacher, and we're all on watch. And I'm just hoping I can find a way to navigate this course in a way that's going to work best for Saia and minimize her time in therapy at 16.

Fuck!