Tuesday, April 01, 2014

The 5 Pranks I Pulled Over On My Monsters This Morning

So, it definitely took some concerted effort this year, and even a couple of back-up plans, but I finally got my little April Fools!!

  • Cellophaned the Entrance to their Bedrooms

    And put a sign on the floor on the other side to distract them enough that they (hopefully) wouldn't notice the shimmering. Was actually hoping they'd wake in the middle of the night to go pee, but they totally slept thru. Of course. Then my alarm goes off this morning and the dawn begins shining through, and I'm thinking that I'm completely screwed because now I have to leave all the lights off instead of 1-2-3'ing their lights on for their regular morning wake-up call. AND nevermind that I can't go into their rooms to kiss them awake because...yes, I've saran wrapped myself out. They're totally gonna figure this one out! Good thinking there, Mama.

    So, I called them awake...a couple of times...from the hallway...from the kitchen. And they both just yelled at me from their beds that they thought I was playing a previous year's joke on them again where I moved all the clocks forward but it was really only four in the morning, so everyone refused to budge! Ugh. Finally convinced Saia to confirm the time on her iPod and she took the plunge, and like a giddy toddler on Christmas morning, I waited patiently in the dark hallway between their two rooms with my hand over my mouth as she turned her light on and stumbled toward the door.

    It worked like a charm. She reached for the note on the other side of the invisible "door" and brushed up against it with her bedhead. She jumped back with a squeal, the delicate curtain static-clinging to her arms, legs, and head, as she tumbled backward onto her chaise, arms flailing about as though she were caught in a giant spiderweb. I nearly peed my pants. I had to rush in to cover her mouth quickly, laughing under my breath and whispering in her ear, "Happy April Fools' Day, babygirl!" but pointing down the hall to alert her that her brother hadn't yet fallen for the prank. Then she was all in!

    The two of us danced on our tippy toes with our hands wringing at the thought of the boy plowing into the saran wrap on his sleepy way to the bathroom. We sprinted down the hallway as I faked hollered for him to hurry up and come to breakfast. And when his light went on, finally, we both nearly squeeeeeed. And then he says, as he carefully maneuvers his way off his bunk, "Hey, what's with the plastic curtain thingy?"

    Ugh. Darn boy. Onto Plan B.

  • Baking Soda in the Potty

    Once he hobbled his way to the kitchen, I realized in all the excitement and retelling of Plan A that he hadn't yet gone to the restroom, so I hurriedly poured some baking soda into my hand and casually went down the hall to drop it into the toilet bowl. About 30 seconds later, he remembered, and click-slide, click-slide, made his way back down the hall. As soon as he shut the door, I told Saia, and then we both stood outside the bathroom door...listening. (I know, I know. So not right.) But when he didn't react right away, even though the...er...sound clearly indicated that the chemical reaction should be in full effect, I scooted back towards the kitchen and yelled, "Everything okay in there?" Very inconspicuous like. Shut up. Yes, it was. But he just said, "What!? Uh, yeah, mom."

    Darn oblivious monkey. Onto Plan C.

  • Extraterrestrial Cereal

    Zooming back into the kitchen, I reached for my food coloring and stealthily added a few drops of green and blue at the bottom of their cereal bowls. Once they sat down (him first this time, thank goodness) and they poured the milk in, about 10 seconds later their cheerios, bananas and strawberries were all swimming in an ocean of teal colored milk.

    "Hey!" he said with a huge smile on his face. "What in the world happened to my cereal?" :)

    Okay, okay, so it was definitely something, but I still wasn't completely satisfied. Better throw in Plan D.

  • Salty Toothbrushes

  • By the time they finished breakfast, they were suspicious of every move I made. So, of course, I played it all cool and nonchalant and told them it was snowing outside (which is one I've used on them every single year since they were 2 and really thought it would just throw them off my scent). Surprisingly, because of the hail we had yesterday, they both rushed to the window to see. Too distracted to revel in that mini victory, I slunk down the hallway with a handful of salt, took their toothbrushes and rubbed it in. But good.

    After the disappointment of no snow fell away and they began to believe that maybe they were safe again, I pounced into our 15-minutes-to-get-out-the-door routine, which drove them instantly to their toothbrushes. And then...ahhhh...music to my prankster ears..."MAAAMMMMMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

    Gotcha, babies! :)
But just for good measure, I carefully opened two leftover ringpops from Halloween, replaced the rings with baby carrots and broccoli florets, and superglued them closed to pop into their lunches this afternoon. Because duh!