"Mama, Lexi bit Santiago on the lip today."
"WHAT!?!?" I whip around while driving over the bridge in the middle of traffic going 80 miles an hour (please don't try this at home) to get a better look.
"Is that true, Bubba?"
He nods, but never looks up from playing with his dinosaur.
"Yes," Saia continues, "and it was for...for...for no reason."
"Is that true, son?" (he nods again)
"Yes," she says again, "and I told her not to do that to him anymore because he doesn't like it, and then I told him to run, run away as fast as he could because that's what you're supposed to do when someone wants to hurt you."
"Well, yes, Saia, that's true," I confirm. "Although, the only time we've ever instructed Chago to run away was when YOU were trying to drop kick him and pound him on the head with a tractor!"