Meanwhile, I glare over at Saia, who is snootily bragging to him about how she's already lost two teeth of her own and is now frantically trying to yank out a third... with both hands... and a pair of pliers.
Finally convince her, through gritted teeth, to say 'congratulations' to him, and am suddenly overwhelmed by this sense of dread over this burgeoning and unstoppable sibling rivalry for (at least) the next 12 years of my life. And you wouldn't think so, from looking at them, that they have any reason to compete with one another. They're just complete opposites in all they do, in how they think, in their innate mode of functioning. But, man, it's just exhausting trying to keep them from one-upping each other every single second of every single day.
And the worst part of it all is that I do realize that this truly is just the tip of the iceberg. That it has the potential, especially because they're twins and will likely share common friends, teachers, etc., to be really really awful. And I just think maybe I need to start putting together an emergency plan of action now.
[Oh, and, by the way, somewhere around midnight, I was finally able to unearth a piggy bank from somewhere beneath Newspaper and Bubble Wrap Mountain, and managed to squeeze out four quarters for the toothfairy, who, by the way, only really travels with plastic these days and, who, by the way, really does prefer it that way. Except, of course, in moments of lost teeth. And parking meters.]