You're not gonna believe me when I tell you, and I can't believe I didn't take a picture, but I was just too pissed to even think about it, and, of course, we were running late.
But I hear Mommy giving instructions to Chago this morning through gritted teeth from behind their bedroom door. "Please go and get your mother right now, son," she says. Oh, this can't be good.
"MoooOOOOoooom!" he yells as he prances down the hallway. [Ok, obviously HE'S not the one in trouble.] "Mommy says to come to our room RIGHT NOW! Saia's got a stick in her leg!!"
When I walk into the room, she's standing there in her panties (Saia, not Amy) with tears in her eyes and what looks like one of those ink blot animals all over the front of her thighs. Actually, if you put her legs together, it even kinda resembled an octupus. And Mommy just looks at me, having already turned three shades of red, and hands me the "stick" and says, "I don't even know what this is. I don't know what she's done. You deal with her."
And I immediately recognize it. [Cue the flashback music...]
Last night as she was getting dressed for bed, she noticed this "stick" on the floor in her room, immediately picked it up and offered to take it to the trash in the bathroom. An unusually proactive step on her part, I'll admit, but I didn't question it at the time. Turns out, the "stick" was the inner tube of a gutted pen, and she slyly decided to use her jaunt to the bathroom to hide it from us and shove it down her pants so that she could play with it in bed. I don't think she knew exactly what it was. It wasn't leaking...yet. But she knew she wasn't quite ready to part with, and, voila, contraband.
[Cut back to me on the floor with nail polish remover and a bag of cotton balls.]
Luckily, there doesn't appear to be any further damage. She had no open wounds that I could see, and there's only a light stain on each thigh still remaining.
But this, combined with the fact that Bubba's been smuggling small plastic animals into school in his pockets apparently means we're going to have to start patting our children down!!! Can't you just see us..."Alright, hon, finish brushing your teeth and then I need you to put your palms on the wall and spread 'em!"
Nice. Real nice.