DEAR BOX-TOP PEOPLE: IT'S *YOUR* FREAKIN' CAMPAIGN...

Why is it that you can't seem to follow the very basic rule here?

Your Rule, part 1: Box.

Your Rule, part 2: Top.

And if you reverse it, it works even better.  TOP of the freakin' BOX!!!!

Just look at this brand new, poor, innocent, dissected little cereal box. Oh, the unnecessary carnage.  If only you'd put them up on top...where they belonged...where they thought they'd be. The superfluous flap could have been sacrificed to save the whole. One corner. Just one little corner. Up on top. Instead of this. This...destruction!

And for what? They're each only worth .10 cents.

But this box...had TWO!

And ten will make a dollar.

And a dollar's worth of Box Tops in a Ziploc snack bag with their name on it gets them entered into a random drawing for free food/game tickets at their school's Halloween Carnival this Friday.

So tonight, for them, tonight I sit before my pantry, boxes and boxes of granola bars and cereal, biscuits and croissants, strewn about me, my sharpest sewing scissors at the ready, as I, like you, do whatever we need to do to make our children happy.

Tonight.  I commit...cardboardicide.
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