Wednesday, June 15, 2011


At least no ants were harmed in the writing of this post (that I'm aware of).

But several years ago, in efforts to "toughen up" what I mistook for a way-too-sensitive, easy target for bullies, skinnier-than-the-average-bear, more-creative-than-athletic son of two women with a sister and two female dogs, I went out and bought a whole shelf full of those crazy survival books about how to escape a rhino attack, and a handful of those overly generalized, completely discriminatory, gender narrowminded, everything-a-boy-should-know books.  I know. I KNOW! I was having a rough year.

Anyway, the books, which hardly even got thumbed through back then (except by me because, let's face it, they're actually really REALLY cool!), have mostly just been gathering dust...until this past year, that is, when our little monster determined that if there were books about things lying around the house, then that was clearly giving implicit permission to do and try anything in them.

So so so much smarter than me, he is.

And so today, his mommy toted him along to the hardware store, where he evidently spied a $2.50 magnifying glass at the check-out stand, finagled an early allowance, and sprouted chest hair and peachfuzz before he even got home.

The seared leaves...and fried twigs...and the tiny tip of his sister's pinky nail...really never stood a chance.

Huh, I think for a second, maybe I'm underestimating the impact of testosterone after all.

Pouting and jealous and clearly disgruntled, Saia calls out, "Dibs!" well in advance of any subsequent trip to the hardware store, or really, anywhere remotely in the vicinity, as she begins to count out her savings and plots her revenge.

At which point, we just both look at one another and say, "They're just like YOU!"

No comments: