Friday, June 05, 2009


Having trouble writing again.

Feeling stuck since the break-in.

But all my replacement credit cards, debit cards, gas card, and even my driver's license began to arrive yesterday, so I guess I should feel whole again.

But I don't. 

Not really.

And I can't put my finger on it.  I only know that when I go diving into my purse for the Purell or wipies or lip liner or glasses that I just knew was there a week ago, only to find it's not because I keep neglecting the repacking of my new purse, I relive last Thursday all over again.  

And yes, of course, I know it's silly to let it linger as long as it has.  And yes, of course, I realize how very lucky we are.  And yes, of course I know how much worse it could have been.  But it doesn't take away the sting, and it doesn't lessen the violation, and it doesn't decrease my anxiety that all my information (and our children's) is still out there...somewhere, despite my best efforts to mitigate the damage.

But I feel a little like a ghost around here.  Like a shadow of myself.  Lurking, lurking, lurking. Ignoring calls from the insurance company.  Ignoring calls from friends.  Ignoring invitations to get together with real live people.

And I want to be done with it. And I need to start writing again.  And I have a lot -- a whole lot of ridiculousness that happened just this past week that I'm really dying to get into the blog.  And I want to.  Because I need to.  And I will.  Soon.  Maybe not today.  But soon.

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