PUNKIN' PATCHIN'

Can hardly believe another year's gone by, but here we are again trekking across fields and rows of orange- and white- and sienna-colored gourds on our endless search for the perfect pumpkin. "How 'bout this one, Mommy?" "Ooh, look at this one, Mama."

Meanwhile, the wheelbarrow quadruples in weight and becomes unwieldy beneath the rising pile of tangerine and coral noggins, but that certainly doesn't deter our crusaders -- oh no, not these two. "I want THIS one, Mama." "Just ONE more, Mommy, okay? I just want ONE more."

So, we finally settle on TWO medium-sized ones for the porch and ask the kids to pick just ONE each of their own. After a brief debate (if you can believe that), they begin determinedly searching through the stack for just the right one. Pumpkins are flying everywhere. We're both scrambling to catch them before they bash some poor unsuspecting tourist in the head. And before long you can't even see their little heads anymore -- just their dust-covered bottoms sticking up in the air and their legs dangling over the side as they dig deeper and deeper into the wheelbarrow for their prized pumpkin.

Finally, they each come up, all out of breath, filthy but smiling from ear to ear (and ear to ear) clinging to something and raising it over their heads in triumphant glorious success. "THIS ONE!!!" they shout. Just about ready to pay, we spin around to add their treasures to the batch and, literally, just stood there with our mouths hanging open -- because they each picked pumpkins that were no larger than lemons. Yes, really. Lemons!!! After all that hullabaloo!!! Luckily, the nice lady let them have them for free because there was no way in hell we were going to pay $5 each for those ridiculous little pumpkin holes!!!

Oh, well, at least now they have something to take to school on Thursday for show and tell.