FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Well...all things considered, we'll call this one a (heartrending) success.

5:30am
Prepared their breakfast to eat in the truck on the way. Warmed their milk for when they woke up. Packed extra clothes, blanket, and emergency stuffed animals for their cubbies at school.

6:00am
Oh, come on, you know the routine by now. It's 6-O-O, what do you think happened?

6:30am
Finished our milk, made our potty runs, started dressing.

7:00am
After a second run to the potty, turns out we get to watch TWO videos and still try to get out of the house on time. Great.

7:30am
Jackets and shoes on. Goodbye to Mema. Lollygagging down the stairs (ooh, look at the spider), down the sidewalk (Mama, can I touch the moon?), into the truck (Where's my dinosaur?). Four hours later...

8:00am
Finally made it to school. Filmed a little of the kids talking about their first day in the parking lot. Snapped a couple of photos outside. Prayed I could get out of there in under 2 hours and not have to run to Walgreens for valium.

They were both uncharacteristically shy the second we stepped into the classroom, though. Luckily, Chago was too preoccupied with all the new things around him to be too upset when I said goodbye. But Saia, my little mini-me, our true blue drama queen, pulled out all the stops. Oh, yes, she did. Grabbing on to my pant leg, pleading with me to stay, begging me to just take her home, telling me she loved me, that she wanted one more kiss, just one more kiss, one more hug, now one more kiss. It was absolutely unbearable. I could barely bring myself to leave. I was there for 45 minutes trying to say goodbye when I finally just had to turn and walk away.

8:45am
There is nothing -- NOTHING -- that makes you feel more like a terrible mother than making your child feel as though you've abandoned them. Sat in the parking lot and cried. I was crushed -- and virtually useless for the rest of the day.

9:30am
Called to check in on them. Apparently, Chago had a minor meltdown right before snack, but was since doing fine. Saia had a minor accident in her pants, which had me so tied up in knots because it's so completely unlike her and just tells me that she hasn't yet made friends with her teacher.

10:15am
Of course, I sneek over there to take a peek at them on the playground. So sad that I missed Saia by just a couple of minutes, but saw Chago interact well enough to placate me for at least the next hour or two. Spoke with the Director, who assured me that Saia stopped crying shortly after I left and had been fine since, but it was a small consolation. She was going to hate me forever. I was sure of it.

Noon
Had a lunch appointment. Didn't hear a word anyone said. What were they doing right now? Were they eating all their food? Would they tell them if they wanted something to drink? Would they get to see each other?

1:00pm
They should be napping now. No way to know. Well, of course, there was one way, but it took everything I had not to drive over there AGAIN. Found out later that it took them a while to go to sleep because Chago, who could now see his sister on her nap mat on the other side of the room, kept calling her name.

3:00pm
They should be up from nap now, and are most likely groggy and grumpy and remembering that their mother deserted them. Called to check and was informed that neither of them had cried again since this morning. Yes, but were they happy? Were they having fun? Did they have their snack? Were they making friends? Were they going to the potty by themselves? Did they think I was never coming back?

4:00pm
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

4:30pm
Can't take much more of this!

4:50pm
Ran out of here at 10 til 5, prepared to beg for their forgiveness til the end of time. Arrived in time to find Chago playing quietly on the floor with the other children and their teacher. When he saw me, he yelled "MAMA!" and ran into my arms. I was a bawling mess. The very next thing out of his mouth was, "I want to surprise Saia." [awww]

When she saw me, only her eyes lit up and just for a second, but she never smiled. She gave me the 'you hurt my feelings' look and then started to cry as she ran into my arms sighing, "Mama, Mama, Mama." I was heartbroken. The very next thing out of her mouth was, "I want to go home." Me, too, baby. Me, too.

5:30pm
They talked about school all the way home, and replayed their day for both Mema and Mommy. We worked on preparing them for tomorrow, but really there's just no way to prepare for this. I'm dreading that first half hour more than anything in my entire life -- and I was pregnant for 10 months, labored all day, and gave birth to twins, for crissakes.

But this was just their first day, and soon they'll be begging me to stay -- I'm sure of it. Until then, I guess I should just keep my mascara in the truck and turn my keys over to my boss the second I arrive at work.

Friend or Foe?

Isn't that always the question? Well, at one of our school visits this week, some little girl named Elena latched on to Saia. Literally. She grabbed her hand out on the playground and dragged her everywhere she went for the next 15 minutes. At first, Saia was obviously flattered. She looked at me over her shoulder as she was being hauled away and smiled as she said, "She's holding my hand, Mama." But after 5 minutes, I was already beginning to see her inherited impatience swell as she (still simulating a smile) gently tried to pry Elena's little fingers from her wrist. At the 10 minute mark, her more temperate efforts having failed her, she began firmly planting her feet every couple of steps, which sort of jerked Elena's arm and made her at least turn around and acknowledge that something wasn't quite right. "Come on, come on," she would insist. And Saia, whom I've never known to be so accommodating, would reluctantly but trustingly go along with her. But by the time 15 minutes of this had passed, she was looking over her shoulder at me pretty regularly with this confused, almost pained, look on her face, and of course I wanted nothing more than to just get up and physically remove this child from her presence, but I mouthed and gestured to her instead to gently push her arm away and say No more, Elena. Which she did, gladly, several times, until she was finally able to free herself for a brief moment and hightailed it back towards me.

I was noticeably relieved when Elena lined up to go inside with a class that was NOT Saia's. And tried to reassure myself that Saia was patient with Chago, too -- in the beginning. But he's got his own battle scars now to prove that she'll only take so much. She'll be fine. I'm sure she will. But this is only the beginning.

LAYERS

Dressing for their second school visit this morning, I've got Chago in a long-sleeve pullover and am sliding his arms through a short-sleeved button down, when he asks me why he's wearing two shirts? "Well, baby," I reply, "it's a little chilly today, so Mama's going to dress you in layers, okay?" And now his wheels begin churning.

"I go to school in layers?" he asks a little unsteadily.
"Yes, son."
"I sit down in layers?" [now he's just working me]
"Yes, son."
And then here it comes..."I lay down in layers?" he asks [grinning that sheep-eating grin].

And why this stuff still catches me so totally off guard is beyond me, but I could literally do no more than just sit there staring at him, amazed at his little brain and wondering how soon it would be before he began to really make me feel like I left school just a little too soon.

Are You Happy?

Took the kids to their school yesterday morning for a trial visit. Brought them back to my work to have lunch in our cafeteria. Chago was being a little ornery, as usual, as it was eeking close to nap time -- i.e., not eating all his food, playing with his fruit, dropping his napkin, etc. Then at one point he looks up and sees my face and asks, "Mama, are you happy?" "No, son," I replied, "Mama's not very happy that you're not eating all your lunch like a big boy." "If I take a bite, will you be happy?" "Yes, bubba, that would make Mama very happy." [he does - and grins] "Mama, are you happy now?" "Yes, son," I smile back, "I'm happy now." "Mama?" "What is it, Chago?" "If I drop my fork on the floor will you be sad?" He asks as he dangles his fork off the table. "Yes, Santiago, I will be very sad." "But then if I take a bite of food, you will be happy again?" "Well, yes, son, I will, but..." So, he drops his fork on the floor, takes a big bite of his pizza, and smiles from ear to ear.

Feeling a little schizophrenic at this point, I pack everything up to go, send them home, and head back to my office.

Chago - 1, Mama - 0

Happy Birthday, Tia Veronica!

The Big Buddy Program

Helping the Children after the Hurricane

You've probably already read or at least heard about the 6 children (all under the age of 4) wandering around New Orleans latched onto their 6-year-old leader. I was so unbelievably touched by the story and by the unflagging efforts of a grassroots organization out of Baton Rouge called "The Big Buddy Program" that worked so tirelessly to reunite these children with their family members that I wanted to pass some information on to you.

Unlike the Red Cross or the Salvation Army, already inundated and no longer accepting in-kind donations (only monetary at this point), the Big Buddy Program, which deals directly with so many of these displaced children, literally on a one-on-one basis, is in need of exactly that. And if you're anything like me, you don't just want to write a check to some random umbrella organization in the vain hopes that your hard-earned dollars will make it into the hands of the people who need it most (although I really do have faith most days that it does). But I wanted to feel -- truly needed to feel -- as though MY specific donation, MY individual assistance was actually going to help someone TOMORROW. And I honestly do believe this is the group that can do that.

So, if you're at all able (and willing, of course), please donate goods, particularly children's clothes, toys, toiletries, and even pet supplies to:

Bethany King
Big Buddy Program
1415 Main Street
Baton Rouge, LA 70802
www.bigbuddyprogram.org

I'd like to thank blogamy.com for posting this information on her site and providing me with some small sense of relief and utility once I finally stumbled upon it.

Please also recall that you can still be a vital part of the relief effort by providing housing assistance to those in need at www.hurricanehousing.org.

I Think I'm Going To Pop

Mama made her famous apple pie (1 regular, two mini's) on Sunday night, and the kids were foaming at the mouth by the time snack time came around yesterday afternoon. Saia loves the filling; Chago's more partial to the crust. But that stopped neither of them from polishing off every last little bit. And right about that time, Chago leans back in his chair, pats his belly, and yells at the top of his lungs, "I think I'm going to pop!"

[Yes, we're now all just waiting for him to learn how to unbutton his pants and belt out a nauseatingly thunderous burp!]

What Is It About Rides?

It's not even Six Flags, for crissakes, or Astroworld, or Seaworld, or anything like that. It's 4 little coin-operated machines huddled together outside of Target, like an army of vultures waiting to swoop in on the next unsuspecting family who happens to make the mistake of leaving their home without enough quarters.

So now, whenever we ask them where they want to go on the weekends, there's a new choice to consider: there's either "Tarjay - regular" or "Tarjay with Tweety Bird" [obviously not much of choice].

WE REMEMBER!

On My Belly

She cooks, she cleans, she sweeps and mops. She "folds" clothes, she dusts, she even does dishes. She picks up her own toys (and very often her brother's), and she feeds the dogs dinner and treats. She takes care of her business in the bathroom and even flushes and washes her hands. She knows all her colors and all her alphabet and her numbers from 1-19 in English and 1-10 in Spanish. But we just can't seem to get this stubborn little girl to cover herself up with her own blanket when she flips from back to tummy in the middle of the night.

"MAMA!!!! COME COVER ME!!! I'M ON MY BELLY!!!!"

Happy Birthday, Aunt Kat!
Happy Anniversary, Tio Donny & Tia Ruby!!!

The Birth of a Negotiator

[So, this is where I begin the long drawn out process of apologizing to my mother for everything I ever said or did as a child.]

The kids had very, shall we say, "successful" trips to the potty this morning, so, as a reward, you know by now that they get 15 minutes (only) of a children's video of their choosing. This morning they picked "The Jungle Book". They typically start it from the beginning, unless they'd just watched it the day or two before, in which case they'll just pick up where they left off. When the timer went off 15 minutes into the movie, though, I could hear them both start their negotiations with their Mema:

"No, Mema," begs Saia, "just until...until...until the scene ends." [that's one of their new words this week and they try to use it every chance they get]

"No, Saia," interjects Chago,"not when the scene ends." And he turns to Mema and very carefully explains that they will be watching it "ONLY" until Baloo takes Mowgli back to the man-village. That's all. At which point they would be more than happy to turn it off, is the intimation.

FYI - that happens to be the very last scene of the movie.

The California Condor

Around 3:00pm yesterday afternoon, I received a frantic voicemail from Mema asking me to confirm for Chago that his California Condor was indeed in the truck and would be on its way home shortly. Stuck in meetings for the remainder of the afternoon, I quickly snapped a shot of said fowl perched upon the passenger seat of our truck with my handy-dandy Verizon camera phone. Later that night, dressing a much calmer and contented Chago for bed, Mema pointed out that he had literally asked to see and hold that condor picture a good 20 times before I finally made it home with the darn stowaway.

How much do you think Verizon would pay us for this idea?

The Pancake Store

Took the kids to IHOP for the first time this weekend. Man, can they eat! Saia ate all her scrambled eggs and two pancakes. Chago ate all 5 of his pancakes and then ate 2 of Saia's (bartered his eggs). Then they each had bites of Mommy's omelet and Mama's Eggs Benedict, full glasses of milk and juice, and then they were actually asking for dessert! They're monsters!!

But it was amazing to watch them put their napkins in their laps, use their little forks and knives (okay, intermittently), sit straight up in their booster seats like little adults, and drink out of their very own glasses (okay, with lids and straws). But they're just such big kids now, asking to go to the restroom and putting in their two cents (and then some) into our every conversation. Occupying themselves in their carseats with pretend play and books. I'm just so excited to see how they're going to flourish in school. First day of Pre-Preschool is Sept. 19th.

Mama, turn it back on!

Our little town recently renovated one of the kids' favorite parks with some really fantastic play structures and sand & water areas. One of the (and in their opinion the preeminent) enhancements was the addition of a fountain area. There's still been no schedule posted listing the times the fountain is set to turn on, so it's always still a little bit of a surprise when seemingly out of nowhere there are suddenly random sprays and showers and at least 50 screaming children peeling off their clothes and shoes and tearing towards the water.

Sometimes a Jalapeno
Is Just a Jalapeno

I can hardly believe we're already visiting pre-preschools for these two. But there we were, bright and early this morning, touring a local facility. Saia appeared to take it all in stride, which we expected. She's pretty resilient, hardly affected by anything. Chago, on the other hand, does not cope very well with change. Transitions always take a lot of time and explanation, and he's not easily swayed. Today, he fussed quite a bit at the school, but mostly because he wanted to play with the dinosaurs. He really had no interest in the other children, the teachers, the cute little kidsize potties or even the playground. Nothing. And although it was obvious he was trying to latch on to something he was familiar with, I do still know this child and recognize his "moves" from a mile away. "Pick me up, Mama." "May I please touch the dinosaur, Mama?" "I won't hold it, just touch it, okay, Mama?" "May I take it home please, Mama?"

Anyway, after a fairly satisfactory visit, we were on our way back to the truck, which was parked just across the street from a restaurant, when Mommy notices a mess on the sidewalk and says, "Oh, watch out, don't step on the jalapenos." We all immediately looked at each other -- grinning -- just waiting. But when Chago looked around and didn't see any obvious penises strewn about, he just kept on walking.