Tuesday, July 14, 2009

time to blame the media -- and maybe mom a little bit, too, for good measure

Am I a hater?

Because it makes my skin crawl to see couples be all mushy over each other when you know, you just know, it's not the whole truth? Someone's lying. Someone's cheating. Someone's suppressed something somewhere. Someone's relying very heavily on cheap brandy and Ambien.

Because I'd rather claw out my eyes with a mai tai umbrella than see any more of those teddy beary, sugary sweetness, rainbows and butterflies blogs about perfect little families and their perfect little lives when I know, and would bet money, that at least 37% of them are destined for the next episode of SNAPPED!?!?

Because I'm finally beginning to wonder if this entire nauseating idea of true love and soul mates and forever was not just some big marketing ploy concocted to continue to sell Bonnie Raitt and Keith Urban albums?

But does that make me a hater?

I mean, granted, my glass is a little less than half full these days. And yes, that does tend to weigh slightly on a girl's natural optimism and hopelessly romantic ideals.

But give me a break, people. Maybe if I wouldn't have been raised in a society that glamorized Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella and Joanie loving Chachie and Danny going nerdy for Sandy and Sandy going ghetto for Danny and An Officer and A Gentleman swooping up Debra Winger and Bud swooping up after whooping up Sissy (who also happened to be Debra Winger -- the 80s were definitely good to that girl) and Richard Gere sacrificing his gerbil-lovin' tendencies for a two-bit whore with a four-bit smile and Harry finding Sally and Sally finally letting him after giving all passive-aggressives a bad name for eternity but then going on to find Tom Hanks in Seattle but also in a volcano and on email, slut that she is, and all the other inane displays of happily ever after, maybe the shock of being dumped at 39 with two 6-year-olds, two dogs, and a lifetime of empty promises and dreams wouldn't hurt so fucking much today.

You think?


Anonymous said...

I have to say that we are one of those couples. We hold hands, give a kiss here and there but it's not all rosy on the home front. We've been married 21 years and I would do it all over again with him. I do love him that much. Children have not been easy, more like a challenge of getting out of hell and on to the dirt of regular earth. Relationships are not easy, they are so hard. But I think when it's the right one, those days go by that are in HELL and you make things work.
This is a hug from me to you. I think you could use one. Nope, I'm not one of those god fearing, fru fru type of people. I just thought you could use one.

Susan said...

I'm with ya. What some people seem to have is great, it IS great when you have it, but it is like you said, there's more to it than we can see from the outside. I get the whole stick-it-out through the rough parts notion, and I agree with it, but I think you've done that. What you are going through just plain sucks. There's no way to sugar coat it or tell you tomorrow will definitely be better, it just completely sucks and hurts like nothing should ever hurt. Your feelings are valid, breaking up doesn't mean you didn't really try or that the relationship wasn't the right one. It just sucks. Do you know what I'm getting at or do I just sound like a complete idiot? At any rate, keep writing and talking about how you feel, it is important and it matters. And I'm here to listen. ~Susan

The Redhead Riter said...

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. It is scary and painful. I know. I've been there. Grieve. It is a necessity. But then kick yourself in the butt, look in the mirror, and realize that YOU ARE SPECIAL. You are! There isn't anyone else in the entire world, just like you with all that you have to offer. Don't let yourself fall apart. You have two children who love you and look up to you. You can do this. No one has that rosey life all the time. I don't. People hide it and don't like to admit it because they feel shame and they too are scared. Don't worry about anyone else. Just think about you. You have great value. Please don't forget.

Anonymous said...

There's the key word right there.
The question you have to ask yourself is have you been dumped?
Or are you free now to go on to the next stage in your life?

girlranting said...

Forget the terminology.

Whether dumped, broken up with, cheated on, unloved, or whatever, you´re your own woman, and you can go on by yourself.

You have two BEAUTIFUL children who will never stop loving you, even when they stop telling you they do... Even when they outright deny it, actually... Yeah, I remember my teenage years.

THERE is where eternal love lies. The rest of the whole "forever and ever" was only concocted to get us with someone who would make us want the kids who REALLY ARE the forever and ever...