HOW TO PLANT A GARDEN IN AN HOUR

"Ew, Mama!!  A grub!  A grub!!!"

And what do you know, it was a grub.  So, I scooped it up (oh yeah, I sure did) and held it out for them to see.

Chago was surprisingly way more squeamish than she was about it, but not because he doesn't like bugs -- it's just that it was dirty.  Clean bugs, they're cool.  Dirty bugs, not so much.

But they both at least made an effort to touch and hold, and then...SCHWING! off it went over the hedge.  Lost in transplantation.

And that was just the first 5 minutes of our gardening adventure today.

Strapped for time, but on the chalkboard as item #6 of our things that must get done today was "PLANT THE GARDEN".

Yeah.  Like, from scratch.

And no, I don't know what I was thinking.  Clearly, I'm losing brain cells by the second now.

But swayed by the springy weather and heavily influenced by the pushy, questionably intoxicated, cashier, I'd picked up 6 packets of seeds earlier in the week.  You know, just to have.  For later.  L.A.T.E.R.

But once they saw them lying on the counter, there was just no way out.  Then it was all when? when? when?  And at some point -- maybe drunk again -- I finally said we'd do it on Sunday.

And then Sunday came.  And we hadn't finished a whole slew of regular things yet, let alone attempting a new major project.  But there was no way I was getting out of it, and I was already feeling so weak from lack of chai and the pounding please! please! please! reverberating between my ears that I finally just gave up, and so it made it onto the board:

And off we went.  Bam! Bam! Bam!  One, two, and three all done before 9:45.

Got a little hung up at Starbucks (let's call that #3.5) before hitting the Target vortex, at which point, it of course felt like time stood still, only it was 3 hours later when we finally emerged.  Starving.

Home and a quickie crab pasta salad later, and the Now? Now? Now? began.

It was exactly 4:30 by the time I got all our gardening gear together, got everyone changed into longsleeves, and finally made it to little plot of yard we'd chosen as our victim.

Four-thirty!  How the hell was I ever going to get a quiche in the oven and dessert on the table by 6???

"Alright, troops!" I yelled.  "We have exactly one hour to get this thing cleaned out, dug up, seeds planted, and garden watered!"

"CAN. WE. DO. IT?!?!?" I shouted in my best Private Benjamin voice.

"Mom, who are you yelling at?" Saia says looking around.

"Oh, nevermind. Let's just get to work."

And in case you were wondering...


And yes, we used all the seeds in all five of the packets (despite my mother's warning).

And yes, that WAS only a 4 x 6 area we converted.

And clearly, I have gone completely insane. But won't it be funny in about 3-6 months?

Do you see the lengths to which I go just to keep you entertained?

You're welcome.