Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A WHORES IS A WHORES, OF COURSE, OF COURSE

Pardon the really bad play on words, but I could not stop it from looping in my head until I wrote it down.  So, there.  It's out.  Thank you for being there for me.  I owe you a KrispyKreme.

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"Mama?" he begins last night just as our goodnight ritual is over and I'm about to walk out of the room. [Of course.]

"Yes, son?" I ask from the doorway.

"Mama, can I ask you something?"  Which always means, come a little closer, please, this is serious.

"Of course, son," I monotone, "You can always ask me anything."  [Trying to plant those seeds, baby.]

And as I sidle up to him on the bed and brush the wisps from his face, he makes that look, like he's trying to remember something, which usually means he's been stewing over something for a few days, or weeks, or even months.  And I begin to realize very quickly that I'm not getting out of here anytime soon.

"Mama, what's a concubine?"

[Cut to background info while I stop my head from spinning around.]

Months and months ago, they received Mulan 2.  Maybe it was Christmas.  I really can't keep track anymore.

And somewhere pretty early on in the movie, the 3 guards are singing about "A Girl Worth Fighting For."  Okay, you with me?  Just scene setting here.

And then sometime later when the guys and Mulan are back at the Emperor's palace, all dressed up and disguised as geishas in order to get past the Huns, and right here in the middle of the movie, in a place I still can't believe I missed, given that our obsessive compulsive children have watched it at least -- AT LEAST -- 4500 times in the last 3 months, there, apparently, is a part where one of the guards, successfully tempted by the disguised heroes, says something, like, "Ooooh, concubines!"

CON. CU. BINES!!!!

Disney.  Children's Movies.  Rated less than G for "Gee, you don't really need to worry about anything here 'cause we won't put anything racy in our movies that will require you to, say, have to explain to your 6-year-old child what a morally loose woman is and why that's enticing enough to be used as a tool to lure the men from their posts and save the day."

So, I think I muttered something about that being a specific type of job, set in a specific place and time, that essentially entailed doing whatever they needed to do to make the men happy, and left it at that.

F*ck!!

What would you have said?


3 comments:

growingupartists said...

Sounds like it's high time for a Mulan III and many other helpful Disney movies I can think of.

tracer123 said...

Porcupine?

SAIA AND CHAGO said...

ROTFL!!!!